seasonal

The sandstone edge beneath my feet is floury dust,

that’s craving only water.

I tighten the weak muscles in my core,

hoping to stay strong and

hoping I lose my footing.

In the summer it was firm.

The sun ran through my blonde hair,

and past the curves in my skin.

My shoulders were soft and I dressed in carnation,

billowing and light.

A hot breeze caught beneath my wing,

and placed my toes centred on the lip.

It’s getting cold now and,

the leaves are turning.

They slice back and forth as they fall off the trees,

the wind urging their ears.

Forcing them into sticky black corners

where they will fade to brown and begin rotting.

The precipitation threatens paralyzation.

Heavy clouds will fire off ice bullets,

forcing the earth to dance.

Mercy

I wont gag

when pus fills my mouth

or when they scream

about it

I won’t do it

and

I won’t drool

at all

no saliva will meet the floor

or saturate the sheets

on my feet

I won’t do it

and

I can get through it

needles hooking skin

sinking in

I won’t do it

I’ll get through this

sad music is gasoline on the fire

I have a war inside my eye that

feeds my mind and the drops I cry while

I’m hiding wasted and

fighting

the drip in my brain that’s roasting the veins in

my legs while I’m starving tasteless and

hearing

these chimes in my ears that

have been ringing for years I’ve

been pumping the white noise through

to make it clear

still

I’m hiding wasted starving tasteless and

fading

they fought

I hate humming houses with quiet families

I prefer the throaty chords pushing up vomit

while I am serenaded by

smooth hits of shattering splinters smashing

I prefer

my ear to the floor

where sounds are muffled and

they dress in itty bitty flowers

to watch snakes whipping dishes and

applaud the waves of broken shards

bad boys grow stronger

a splinter of flame

hanging out of your pupils

sending electric pulses through my body

like a piece of gravity weighting on my bones

pressing the tips of my fingers

egging me to burn it

until the grass catches fire

and the ashes

and the embers

are but a fragment of the fire

worthless char for the worms to eat

the earth will become fertile

with the flames you passed

the grass blooming into bed of meadows

my heart in my stomach at the thought

eyecontact

her face felt like silk

on the real housewives of slab city

carrying a mouth full of dimes

in a plastic bag

and a blocked airway

her face felt like ecstasy

a handful of mouth dripping

grey wool suits counting

posters falling off the wall

when the clock strikes midnight

her face gave me energy

choking

mouth swollen

arms woollen

perfect timing