Bottle Nosed and Face Down

I wish I had giant eyes

The kind of eyes that are so glassy

And so glossy

that they cannot be real

I wish they would take over my sight

Allowing for hyper sight

Seeing through

Seeing over

Seeing who I am


I wish my eyelashes went further than my brow

Catching tears before they descend

Cupping the salty liquid

Returning it

Carving raw designs into my forehead

Telling me who I am


I wish the crook of my neck

Was large enough to consume my family

Store them with me

Even when they are long dead


Their bones would become mine



Showing me who I am


I wish I had a buzz cut

So short

You can see every mark

Every scrape

On my scalp

The kind of hair that makes you question gender

They can decide who I am

Bus Rides


I just want to be high 

I just want to bleed 

I just want to be intoxicated 

Gather myself up after 


Fuck this tea drinking 

Cat petting 

Romantic seeking 


As simple as it seems 

It’s painfully unreal 


Anxiety filled voices 

The need to impress 

I want to hurt 

Because it is simpler 


I feel as ironic as my moody poems 

If they are even that

They are more like selfish rants 

And I’m sorry  

But fuck 

What else am I suppose to do ?