tamdamn

The sandstone edge beneath my feet is floury dust,

that’s craving only water.

I tighten the weak muscles in my core,

hoping to stay strong and

hoping I lose my footing.

 

In the summer it was firm.

The sun ran through my blonde hair,

and past the curves in my skin.

My shoulders were soft and I dressed in carnation,

billowing and light.

A hot breeze caught beneath my wing,

and placed my toes centred on the lip.

 

It’s getting cold now and,

the leaves are turning.

They slice back and forth as they fall off the trees,

the wind urging their ears.

Forcing them into sticky black corners

where they will fade to brown and begin rotting.

The precipitation threatens paralyzation.

 

Heavy clouds will fire off ice bullets,

forcing the earth to dance.

We are 

Wet single ply paper is sticking to the counter,

and we are counting empty soap dispensers.

But who is washing their filthy hands anyway.

 

Her apartment keys are on a department store key ring,

and  her expensive rings are on worthless fingers.

 

Painting the town with our rusty personalities and body glitter.

Yet we feel our best when we have been stripped down to nothing.

Stripping for anyone and everyone,

we are claiming empowerment.

 

 

We are messy girls in velvet dresses,

and well dressed girls in messy situations.

Buying shots we cannot afford.

Spiralling out of control in a city far from mom and dad.

 

We are starving and haven’t eaten in 17 hours.

We’ve been up all night smashing our delicate faces off the wall,

and grinding our weak yellow teeth until they crack and crumble.

We are swallowing parts of our teeth with little pills

and this help our stomach contents stay down.

 

We are going down on our friends,

and feeling utterly used.

We are painting the sheets with worthless fingers and broken toes.

 

We are practicing and painting , but getting no where.

Wearing out the brushes,

and brushing out knotted and dyed hair.

We are dying to get out of this fucking place.

 

 

shards

I sit in the ladies changeroom again and again

cursing the broken glass in my fingers

when I grab something the wrong way

pain shoots through my hand

but I can’t find the shard or the invisible pain

 

I want blood

not this tiny sharp intruder that hurts when I twist

I have this glass in my finger

hiding me deep in the changeroom

 

 

Demand

I burn a deep rich green

Peeling into 21

I wear black

I want to feel it all

I bloom pink and soft

Later flowers are the most driven and solid

Thick hearty petals and stacked plant flesh

Afraid to be sexual?

“I think I’ve faked more orgasms than I have had”

I burn a dark luxurious red

Let the flowers open

Ask Or demand

Burn the colours you need to be

American

I cut your manicured lawn,

And fuck your mom.

I’m a suburban serial killer,

Empty and looking for filler.

 

I am perpetual depression,

And major in constant aggression.

I am obsessed,

At best.

 

I clean your shiny pool,

And play you like a fool.

A glimmer in my eye,

Watching your family die.

 

I make minimum wage,

Get high off rage.

Trophy wives,

Wasted lives.

 

I vacuum the pastel rug,

And sell your son drugs.

He can be just like me,

Trapped in suburbia eternity.

Bottle Nosed and Face Down

I wish I had giant eyes

The kind of eyes that are so glassy

And so glossy

that they cannot be real

I wish they would take over my sight

Allowing for hyper sight

Seeing through

Seeing over

Seeing who I am

 

I wish my eyelashes went further than my brow

Catching tears before they descend

Cupping the salty liquid

Returning it

Carving raw designs into my forehead

Telling me who I am

 

I wish the crook of my neck

Was large enough to consume my family

Store them with me

Even when they are long dead

Decomposed

Their bones would become mine

Intertwined

Infinte

Showing me who I am

 

I wish I had a buzz cut

So short

You can see every mark

Every scrape

On my scalp

The kind of hair that makes you question gender

They can decide who I am

Cydonia

In a polyethylene lawn chain,

Sitting.

Starring at at the pea stone gravel,

Until the stones darken and melt together.

All the while, smelling the smoke.

The Glorified health conscious nothingness.

 

Spider webs but no spiders.

A mechanically driven government operation.

Handing out brochures,

Coffee stained, and catching dust endlessly.

 

Buy lives,

on a lawyers desk.

Stare until the images blend together.

Stare until it becomes the world,

It becomes the world.